i had a super sweet dream last night. lol. i shall not share it coz its too sweet for comfort! haha. i was still thinking on it when i was in school today. haha. perhaps even now. lol. it was super real, super realistic. haha. but anway, i had a fair share of swings today.

i was hit quite badly by the fact that i felt ashamed when someone beside me was invited to F.O.P. i dunno why. i was just very heavily hit. i dared not even look up and acted as though i didn't hear about the invitation. i had to go to the toilet for 10mins purposely to calm myself down. it has been quite a long time ever since i saw evangelism in school. i don't know why i just can't stand up and say what i wanted to say so much. i mean, i do hope to see authentic salvation in my school, but i just withdraw myself whenever there is a opportunity to share. i'm just so puzzled. could it be the past hurts? could it be the past discouragements? i wanted to know why. why am i still lukewarm about sharing even after commitments after commitments. i used to be so on to do so. used to. i wanna make this matter present tense. i could imagine how convenient was it to share. i always fought against myself when i was about to do so.

its just a small step of faith to take,hg. dun keep rationalising. =)


still in the shadows of this self-doubt, i went on to the next lesson. played with the laser fixed in the projector control without the teacher knowing while i'm supposed to be presenting my project. lol. so funny, some people did not manage to notice the red light was pointed at them. some do when i shone the laser onto the ceiling and beside the teacher. haha. i realised how playful am i even up till now. lol. and after the fun, hg returned to his normal self, hopefully the one he intended to be.