so i guess what i feared the most actually came to past, C clashes with practice. sorry i just gotta pen this down because i lost quite a few strands of hair because of it.

when it comes to this kind of situation, i think i could look no further to Abba. people often often will advise to ask Abba of His will for me in such situations. but then i came to a point whereby i realise being either in C or practice would not deter the way He views me, nor feels about me. i firmly firmly believe in both ways i would be greatly blessed

²⁸ And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. [romans 8:28]

so if God, according to verse 28, would cause EVERYTHING to work together, why the headache, just go ahead of what you feel like it la! i feel thats quite chim to answer. so i turned to the fundamental questions of why C would be such enticing to me.

i asked why. cos C promises a good ground to build the fragile body of mine, brings great fun to polo in a whole different way and also would be a source of SEAL points for my university admin. anyway, i think its the SEAL points that is the reason why i was searching for a activity like C in the very first place. if SEAL points were dirt, no one would ever want to waste time accquiring them.

So if the purpose of going to C were to aquire SEAL points just for my uni admission, wouldn't i be doubting verse 28? if God will send me to uni, he will cause everything to work together to get me there! if he created the heavens and the earth with just a breadth, whats a uni admission in a tiny red dot to Him? is His auhority too small to do that? i know it sounds absurb, which anyway would be a norm for such God-logic.

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. [jeremiah 29:11, New american standard]

so like a light unto my path, i'm supposed not to be planning my route like the others did to thiers, but to stay in my calling, work on my raw talent(haha), use it for his glory. anyway, this is a perfect chance to experience what's really like to live by faith.

so i'm done with why i chose not to commit my time to C. i'm moving on why i chose practice over C. its a little shorter. haha.

God and his people in practice has showed great commitment in me(as i have in them), as clearly shown in the past few months, i definitly would name drumming the last to lose if i were to keep only one ability.

let's look what mary has done.

³⁸ As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹ Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

⁴¹ But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! ⁴² There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Here, don't i wanna be/do what Mary has been/done? Mary knows what to let go, what to embrace in her life, that is Jesus, and have pleased God by doing so. God does care about how well i do in poly, but none weighs as much as the love i have for the Lord, in this i believe, God holds the love i have higher than the need for the Seal points.

When He created the heavens and the earth, didn't he meant it for me to enjoy? Did He have to ask me whether i want it or not? No. If He wills me to go uni, nothing except me can stop it. If He wills not, nothing except me can make me go.

At most, let the passion for C be an alabaster jar, which i break before your feet. At most, let my time in practice be your 5 loaves 2 fishes, use it to bless others, which i would be honoured to be part of. MUACKS.