i cleared my wadrobe today. guess what i found.

my mess

my pride

my sweat

my joy

this shirt brought to me many memories then. still quite nostalgic about how my eca(then) ended/disbanded/whatever then.

was in primary 3 when i walked into mini tennis. it became my passion overnight. since then, every minute of training i was trying to make the most of it. how i remembered my seniors all gathered together in a corner with the teacher-in-charge, smiling ear to ear, showing off the medals they won to the camera. i was inspired and aspired to be like them, even though i knew none of them.

i worked hard. i built my status in the eca. from a boy who knew nuts about even holding the racket, to a boy sweating out to master close ball control everyday. guess my favourite days? tuesdays and wednesday. cos training starts at 8.30am-11am. as usual, i would be already wating at the canteen at 7.15am.

i was only primary 3 then, looking all the big brothers and sisters unleashing cool, steady strokes on the ball, that made my eye roll, always.

primary 4, school hired a coach. coach phillip. he was a black man. he was incredible. he trained us, he played with us, he laughed with us, he disciplined us, he punishes us. who cares. our relationship grew. and by march, i was already selected, second in pecking order, for the school team. only primary 4. beating the 5's and 6's, and the coach, once. i didn't care. i just wanna play tennis. i was told my coach i wanted to represent singapore in tennis. it never happened. there wasn't even a chance to start with.

tournament that year, we lost 95% of the matches flat. because all of us played for the first time. the girls have some results. however just a little better than us. i cried you know. in front of everyone. i didn't care too. cos i know i would be back next year stronger. ever since, i trained twice as hard, ran twice more than usual, and sweat twice the rate. all in hope for a tournament comeback. i promised coach we would beat ACS, the all-time champions.

holidays that year. just about its gonna be ended, teacher says coach is going on a holiday and hence will not be coming back till the following year.

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-the following year- 'march'

''hello may i know why mini-tennis hasn't started yet?''

''its started!''

''my boy claimed he hasn't heard anything from the school''

''boy? there's no mini-tennis for the boys, only for girls.''

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so i approached the current teacher-in-charge. apparently, switched. was told that there wasn't any more boys team for mini-tennis due to the principal's decision. my world collapsed. he didn't wanna explain why.

''since you really wanna play, you can help out. 8am-10am. tuesdays and thursdays. ''

so i still went anyway. i would be at the court 7.15am setting up everything. nets, poles.... i did it for a year till next year i was exiled from the team 'because of psle'. sad, i used 'exiled' because i was rudely pushed away. i didn't know i was unwanted by the teacher. i didn't know i was disliked. all i knew was my tennis and have gelled with everyone, except the new coach, who didn't seem to like me.

it was all because of that white lie that coach was going on a holiday.

it was all because of that crude comment by the teacher

it was all because of that confusion caused whether was the time spent worth

all i knew i was a P6 then. i didn't know what to do.

on hindsight, i saw a boy who was thrown into the practicality of this world.

despite the boy loving the eca passionately,

despite the team working harder than any teams,

despite all the blood and tears we shed,

all we wanted is to excel and win something for the school.

that hundreds of hours of training,

that never-ending drills, that hundreds pairs of socks worn out.

crudely got disbanded all because we lost on our first tournament.

sad eh. thanks for reading this far